Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Rich people = no dingleberries
I recently talked about having a flat screen TV mounted in my bathroom if I ever hit the lottery or somehow manage to not be poor for the rest of my life. I figured this was about as good as it could get when talking about bathroom luxuries. Well, I might have found something in the bathroom that might even top having a TV in the poop room.
I just learned about a little genital cleaning contraption called a bidet. If you have never seen one of these things you might be wondering (as I was) why the hell there is a weird looking water fountain next to the toilet. Turns out it actually washes the dookie and dingleberries off your ass after you take a dump!!! Apparently, after you are done dropping the kids off at the pool you waddle over to the bidet, sit down, turn a knob (like a water fountain), and it shoots a stream of water at your ass that cleans the excess shit off of your poopchute. Then all you have to do is wipe away the water! I haven’t used one of these yet, but I can’t wait to give it a whirl. I personally don’t know anyone who has a bidet, but if I get rich you can bet your ass (no pun intended) that I am going to have these in all 28 of my bathrooms. I need to get rich!
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I used to run with a very posh crowd and knew a lot of rich people who weren't very happy. It changed my perception of money quite drastically. Ever thought of becoming rich in your soul? It's a lot more fulfilling.
ReplyDeleteI also lived in a few countries where nearly everyone had a bidet, yet, I don't know anyone who used theirs except perhaps for entertainment purposes. They are overrated. So is being rich.